Crisis of Confidence
As someone who has always had an abundant supply of self doubt and had to work really hard to feel confident, it was interesting to hear from someone else who found that confidence came naturally and self doubt only appeared later in life. Can’t relate. In this podcast Yoga Girl Rachel Brathen reflected on her 2018, the year that self doubt reared its ugly head for the first time, making her realise self doubt had always been a part of her, she had just never given it oxygen before. And when she did, that destructive wildfire spread into all areas of her life. Her story reminded me of one of my favourite fables:
“A Cherokee elder was teaching his young grandson about life.
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil- he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt and ego.
The other is good- he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.
This same fight is going on inside you—and inside every other person, too.”
The boy thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
“Which wolf will win?”
The elder simply replied,
“The one you feed.”
― Tsalagi Tale
As someone who had starved my confidence, and over indulged my fear, it was the opposite for me. Being an un-diagnosed dyslexic through school was constant negative reinforcement that fed my fear of not being good enough. But eventually when I got out of the school system and embraced my creative gifts I taught myself ways to feed my confidence. One technique that I remember doing everyday on the commute my first real creative job, was this chant:
‘I have complete faith, trust and confidence in my tenacity to see obstacles as opportunities for growth’
There were about ten lines to the self empowerment chant that began with ‘I have complete faith, trust and confidence..’ I can’t remember them all now but I remember how I forced myself to say them like I believed them, with confident energy. And true they became, I now run head first into obstacles and revel in the problem solving. This was just one of the techniques I used to become Failure Friendly, you can find all of them in my free Failure Friendly ebook.
If you’re hungry for confidence I encourage you to create your own chant, by finishing these sentences:
‘I have complete faith, trust and confidence in my ability to…’
‘I have complete faith, trust and confidence in my skills to…’
‘I have complete faith, trust and confidence in my resourcefulness to…’
Nourish yourself, it’s a practice.
Your Friend,
Buzzy