Does that resonate?

Because no one has a crystal ball, doubt is a normal part of life, a normal part of being a person. For some reason some of us take that doubt very personally. Often, before we learn to read or write, we learn that this discomfort is proof that something is wrong with us. When we take the discomfort known as doubt and fuse it to our sense of self, ‘self doubt’ becomes us, in a very unhealthy way. We sever a connection to ourselves because we believe that we are not to be trusted. 

Two memoirs made their way into my life recently to stir up this old wound. The first was ‘Untamed’ by Glennon Doyle, and the second ‘More Myself’ by Alicia Keys. Two phenomenal women spreading the same message in their unique voices. Their poetry slices through the noise to reveal the truth medicine. Here’s a passage from Key’s book, a conversation she had with Oprah when Alicia was unsure who to hire as her manager:

“With all the transition you’ve had,” I said to Oprah, “how have you found people who truly represent you and understand your vision?” Oprah sat there quietly for a moment before answering. “For many years,” she said, “I looked to someone outside of myself to dream up and create what only I could. I eventually realized that no one else can see your big picture. Only you know the journey you're on… But the truth is even with wise counsel, only you know what your next step should be. All my best decisions in life have come when I’ve tuned into what felt like the best move for me.”  Oprah refers to this knowing as the ‘resounding yes’ feeling. 

I can understand a concept like ‘follow your bliss’ or ‘trust your gut’ on a theoretical level, but it’s not until I can see tangible examples of what the opposite looks like, that it usually clicks. As soon as I read this passage I realised that when I scroll  Pintrest looking to see what other people are doing or thinking, the way I gather opinions, survey the crowd, research, research, research, and interrogate the options from every angle before I make a move - that is me looking outside myself for something that only I can know. That’s me being in my head instead of my heart. That’s me turning my back on the ‘resounding yes’ sensation that’s felt in my body. That’s me dulling my instincts. Trusting everyone else but me. 

That’s why the Failure Friendly Mindset is based on SELF awareness, SELF belief and SELF compassion. It’s about reconnecting the severed cord to your fine self. It’s learning how to trust yourself again without holding grudges for all the self abandonment. When taking the 21 Day Failure Friendly Challenge I invite you to embrace the lessons and practices that resonate, the things that re-sound what you already know to be true for you, the re-sounding yeses! And ditch the rest please. No one else can give us creative confidence, the answers or even the directions. That's on you babe, and you are without a doubt the only person for the job.