You gotta play your way

I’ve been feeling the winds of change for a few weeks now, the feeling of healing and leveling up. Something is coming. It’s not an easy feeling to hold space for, so today on this rare sunny July day I took myself to the beach to relax. Instead of relaxing I started driving myself crazy with controlling thoughts, vowing not to let ‘this’ slip away, to do everything I can to make ‘it’ happen. But how can I plan my attack when I don’t know what ‘it’ is?

Ready to break the cycle of crazy thoughts I dared myself to run into the freezing ocean, as a gesture to the universe that I was ready for whatever it had in store. The moment I thought it I regretted it, we’re in the depths of winter - the ocean is the last place I wanted to be. It was too late, what would the universe think If I backed out now?

‘I’m strong and brave’ I screamed as I ran into the surf. Immediately I was filled with a childlike joy as I shrieked in the freezing water. I didn’t expect it to be fun, but it was. It was a refreshing and quick swim. And as I stepped out of the ocean I grasped the lesson I had been searching for on the sand. 

The irony is that the next chapter of my story, the more mature, the wiser, higher version of myself was not calling for seriousness and maturity - it called for play and joy. It wasn’t what I had to do, but how, that was important. 

Playfulness gives us the freedom to make mistakes, learn and stay resilient as we move though the messy process of change. It keeps us agile, curious and awake. 

Seriousness on the other hand keeps us rigid and the stakes so high that any misstep can feel fatal. 

Trying to figure out exactly where you’re going and every measured step to take along the way may seem like a grown up thing to do. But it’s a recipe for disaster. Play is the stuff of romance, of creativity, of learning. Don’t take life so seriously, don’t take yourself so seriously - that was the lesson, the gift from the sea.